The worst Christmas TV merchandise

The worst Christmas TV merchandise | Television & radio | guardian.co.uk.

I don’t have much energy for blogging just now so I am taking advantage of WordPress’s little “press this” feature to highlight one or two articles of interest via my RSS reader. This one is a seasonally pertinent question: what is your worst nightmare for a Christmas (or alternative celebration) present? The Guardian article suggests:

“It is surely one of the last things you’d hope to find in your Christmas stocking. Matt Cardle: My Story – presumably told by someone else given the mere eight-day gap between his X Factor triumph and the book’s release – is a 224-page tome that tells the story of Matt’s meteoric rise from painter and decorator to global pop sensation.”

What’s worse is that some people will actually be receiving this book – as well as similar tomes by comedians, cartoon furry animals and “celebrities” famous for “getting ready to go out” (as Victoria Beckham’s claim to notoriety was once described to me).
Anyway, there are lots of useful (useless) suggestions with links (!) at the Guardian article, eg roaring, vibrating pencil sharpeners; sex-and-the-city pink/gold foldable shoes, Coronation Street cross-stitch kit; plus some not very funny suggestions in the comment section.

What would be your worst themed present? A commemorative tea towel? A 1970s kipper tie with a picture of Gene Hunt on it? A “prism” or an “urbon” drink bottle from the Apprentice? A TV tie-in novel by James Patterson?

5 thoughts on “The worst Christmas TV merchandise

  1. I am an expert on tatty gifts as the man who bought a thousand Paul “Gazza” Gascoigne tooth brushes after the 1990 World Cup. He got injured and I had to give them away!
    Is it possible that Stuart Baggs, the brand, will soon be marketing his own range of male grooming products, obviously endorsed by Lord Sugar? That would be quite a gift carefully designed to end a relationship.

  2. A wellness gift card, or perhaps a CD with pop music.

    To me, wellness is staying at home with my family, my Mac and plenty of crime novels.

  3. Our extended family used to do Kris Kringle where you would draw one family member’s name from a hat and buy them a present so you just buy one present and get one present – because I am known as a reader I usually received books, most of which were not to my taste because non-readers clearly think all books are created equally – One was the story of the 19 year old who came second (!) in that year’s Australian Idol (I only skimmed it but it seemed to confirm my belief that unless you are 60+ you don’t have enough life to have a life story).

  4. Maxine – I am loving reading these stories of frightful gifts. Hmm…. I think anything themed with American Idol would be enough to put me off…

  5. Some horrific suggestions, indeed. Bernadette, we call that “Secret Santa” over here – it was unheard of in my childhood but my daughters often participate where there is a large group eg schoolfriends or flatmates, so that everyone gets one nice present instead of lots of bars of soap, chocolate bars or plastic cracker gifts.

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