My version of Bryan Appleyard’s version of Iain Dale’s meme "ten things I’d never do" has been satisfyingly picked up all over the place. But one set of answers is buried in the comments to my earlier post — I’d love to share them with a wider readership.
Step forward Steve of Sand Storm, whose list has the strong hint of variant "ten things I’d never do again". I am more than happy to take all of his advice. Thanks for the laugh, Steve, you are one of a kind. Have a chocolate on me.
"1 Yell "Hey look at that" when my brother in law is driving.
2 Let my brother in law drive.
3 Tell the 7’1" bouncer at Treasure Island Hotel in Las Vegas "ya you and what army".That arm is still sore.
4 Stick my tongue on the frost of a metal clothesline pole.
5 Paddle across a lake on an air mattress to see Tommy James and the Shondells.
6 Watch John Mellencamp in concert when he is so blitzed he couldn’t sing.
7 Put my face up to a cage that houses a Mandrill.
8 Slap the ol’ mare on the ass as we start riding downhill.
9 Tell the Mexican lady at the taco stand in L.A. that "I like it as hot as you can make it."
10 Drive the zodiac that close to a pod of Killer whales."
Steve’s list reminds me of the time when Nicky Hilton, one-time husband to Liz Taylor and of the Hilton hotel empire, was asked by an interviewer if he had any advice or words of wisdom to impart to the world. "Don’t hang the shower curtain outside the bath" came the response.